How much of your life is dominated by your fears?
So many of us have allowed our fears to guide our thoughts, our actions and our lives. I often have heard someone tell me, "I can't do that (write a book, start my own business, go back to school, etc.)" And if you believe that you can't, you will be absolutely correct, you won't.
Fear, can and does, take on a life of it's own, and then we believe that it is true.
The best definition of fear that I have seen appeared on a bulletin board at Ingals Hospital. The acrostic of fear, was this, False Expectations Appearing Real. How true that is!
I like to ask people to write a list of the fears they've had in the past. I then ask them to list how many of those fears actually came true. I apply this to my own life. I think of the many hours I wasted imagining the worst would happen in the future. It never did.
Why do we worry? We all do it, some of us do it more than others.
If it's a waste of time, why do we waste the precious time of our lives? One reason is we believe if we worry long enough and hard enough, we will be able to control our future. The sad fact is there are many aspects of life we cannot control. We cannot control gas prices, we cannot control the weather and we can't control the actions of other people. We go on worrying in the false belief that we'll finally hit upon the magic solution to whatever problem is upsetting us at the moment.
Another reason we worry is we think we will prepare ourselves for the worst. And fear tells us the worst will happen. Not only does fear not prepare us for the worst, we waste our energy preparing for something that probably will never happen.
If fear didn't dominate your life, what would you do with all those hours now available to you? Well, for one thing, you could begin to enjoy your life. You could enjoy all that life has bestowed upon you.
If you look around you now, what are you grateful for? Do you have beautiful flowers in your garden? Do you have good friends who want to share their lives with you? Do you have children or grandchildren who light up your life? What are you grateful just for today?
What I'd like you to remember is that fear is always false. The only time to listen to fear is when it's realistic. When you're crossing the street and a truck is coming at you, get out of the way! Otherwise, fear is something we conjure up in our minds. There's always something your mind will think of to worry about.
The successful people of this world are those who have ignored fear. One of my favorite quotes is from President Roosevelt who said, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." If you want to lead a successful life, follow his advice.
My challenge, to you, is to live a life, free of fear. Live a life of gratitude and giving to others. Fear will evaporate and your life will be serene and full of joy.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. Dr. Myrna Sarowitz is a professionally trained life coach. She has her private practice in Schererville and is a licensed clinical psychologist who is retired. She can be reached at livingyourjoy@sbcglobal.net.
